First, off - Happy first of the month, and HAPPY PRIDE!! Hope yall have fun out there!!
Secondly, i don't think i'd consider myself "A Furry" anymore. I grew up in the fandom, in a way, i was rlly into fursuits when i was in my young teens, I tried to even become a maker at one point lol, and i've been going to the same con every year since 2017, so i have a long history with the Furry fandom. The fandom today feels...different, if thats crazy to assume, Now, yes i am saying this coming from someone who was a kid all throughout the 2010s so my view of the fandom at the time is definently skewed through some nostalgia, i will admit to that. But hell, even in the late 2010s, when i was in my later teens, everything was still different then.
The culture of the fandom has changed, in size, interests, backgrounds, etc. And theres nothing wrong with it, on paper that is. But so much crazy shit keeps happening online, and as someone thats not online on social media much (or at all) these days, other than to check DMs. So i have this strange disconnect since the fandoms mostly an online thing, i know it didn't necessarily start that way, but thats how it is. The perception of anthro animals by the populus isnt the artstyle i favor. If my artstyle wasnt obvious, i like really toony anthros, like looney tunes type of shit, like what furries back in the 80s-90s liked n whatnot. So, another pile-on to the weird disconnect. I'ts not like i don't know what kind of art im making duh im drawing cartoon animals, but i just don't see my work appealing to the mass furry culture, from what i've observed at least.
Another thing i need to address; the iPhone 13 ive been using for years to make my music on, has unfourtanatley been lost and is now at a fucking garbage facility. RIP all those M4A files...
5/19/2026I think i'm actually enjoying drawing again. Social media gave me such a pressure to only draw to post, like every drawing had to appeal to an audience, and had to look finished enough to post along with me feeling i needed to pump out a fully finished drawing every fuckin day, which ive struggled with since i took posting my work more serisouly when i was in HS, I totally forgot even that drawing was supposed to be fun im not kidding. I feel these years have made me hate drawing, felt more like an obligation rather than an actual hobby
I've taken some time for myself, and have just been sitting around doodling whatever and not even caring to post it, even if it looks good. Because i honestly i just want some time to myself to enjoy art without having to worry about an audience, not to saying i dont care for what audience i have i of course am forever thankful that people enjoy my work so much, i just need some time to work on a passion i thought i let go a while ago.
Also, traditional art is way more fun for me than digital, IMO. I just like the down to earth-ness of it all. Digital art programs can overwhelm me even if ive been using CSP for (i think) 3 or 4 years.
4/27/2026Okay, so i actually enjoy tinkering with devices, but i can't say ive gotten any of them to work after putting everything back lol...I got this lot of used phones off of Ebay for around 40 bucks with shipping, mainly because of an iPhone 5s that was in perfect condidtion. When the package got here i noticed the battery was shitty so i ordered a new one, but the bat suprisingly fixed itself after a full night of being shut down but i was convinced by someone to go through with replacing it so i did, FUCKING UNFOURNTENATLY said person tried to take the battery out before i could and used such force it broke a very small, yet VERY nessesary cable, making basicly all the ports at the bottom broken, the touch ID doesn't work, the headphone jack's fucked, and so were the speakers.
After a few days of sulking i decided this morning to crack it open and **try** to at least put some things back together and not have a 4 inch brick that used to run pinterest just fine a few days ago. I crack it open, disconnect and reconnect some things, then after removing the speaker was when i totally noticed the loose broken chord, and i stupidly tried pushing it back into its slot while the battery was still inside and it sparked at me, lol. I got the speakers working but now the battery's even worse than is used to, it wont charge, at all. Which causes the phone to be borderline on a boot-loop. Still so sad to see cus the iPhone 5s was my first iPhone growing up, and i was really nostalgic using it.
4/24/2026HEYY!!! I finally finished up that album i mentioned back, rlly proud of what i made here and im glad i took my time and made these tracks as good as i can. CHECK OUT "P4RTY 4NIM4L" WHEN U CAN!! SHOULD B OUT WHENEVER :D
4/20/2026You ever try to help someone with a tech problem but they wont listen to anything instead just verbally repeat the problem and not actually let you fix anything?...anywayz lol
TY 4 ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!! I had a fun birthday, got black out drunk at a bar at one point lololol
Been becoming the guy that ppl dumb all their old tech onto, i mean im not complaining, gotta iPhone 5s for 40 bucks and someone's coworker's old macbook that runs wonderfully, except i've never used a mac so theres gonna be some learning curvess..
3/20/2026
I can't help but feel evil sometimes just because of my username. I've had so many comments about how gross it sounds or that im mentally ill or cruel, which feels insulting. It seems like they think im a fan of animal abuse or something which is just awful and downright hurtful, I love cats and animals, and that was not the reason behind "XxCatgore". I wanted a username that sorta reminded me of old edgy Xbox usernames, plus i watched a lot of Nekojiru's work which was another inspiriation to the name. I dunno, i just hate that people assume this shit about me just because the word "gore" is there, and it's made me reconsider changing it multiple times because my obbsession compulsive ways, which also seems like so much work just to please strangers.
2/24/2026I had the realization that it is impossible for me to see in fursuits without my glasses or something. I have an astigmitism in both of my eyes and when i wear my suit it just cranks that vision issue up to the max, like no wonder i was bumping into so many people at a con last year, sucks tho cuz i love that suit but i can only wear him for photos. 
I feel like each day i'm becoming more passionate over the topic of ditching big social media platforms in favor of the indieweb(or whatever else its called). Coming from my own personal experience, Being off these stressful platforms that encourage outrageous mind numbing nonsense and an addiction to watching numbers on your posts that just float away in a sea of other posts the all and mightly algorithim ignores. People are not content pumping machines, and only a real small handfull seem to benefit, if at all. These platforms also dedicate themselves to keep you as hooked as humanly possible. They're basically programmed the same way slot machines are, ever wonder why you keep scrolling even after finding nothing interesting? Because in the back of your mind you think you'll find that one perfect dopamine inducing post that'll make those 2 hours on the toilet worth it. It's all a scam meant to steal your time and profit off of it by showing more ads than real posts at this point. So much of social media doesn't matter in the real world, all that needless discourse doesnt friggin matter man, what matters is just being a nice person. I'm just getting real passionate about making the internet an actual place again for people, not corparations looking to suck your time and mental health dry by keeping you chemically addicted to their feeds. Like fuck it! Make a website!! Use a template if you want to WHO CARES!! As long as your expressing your authentic self on this wide digital world, and go out and see how many people out there are also doing the same thing!! Get inspired!! Be present!!
2/21/2026
Ok so back in november or so, i swapped my iphone for a flip phone (the TLC flip4 5g to be erm percise) to be my main phone, i still got the iphone just turned off in a bag somewhere idk. And i love it, so so much. But it feels surreal in ways, like being the only person in the room without a screen to stare at in their palms. Sometimes people just pull their phones out mid conversation and **I** feel like the weirdo for not having a time-wasting machine in my pocket. I dunno man it just drives me a little nuts sometimes..
