I can't help but feel evil sometimes just because of my username. I've had so many comments about how gross it sounds or that im mentally ill or cruel, which feels insulting. It seems like they think im a fan of animal abuse or something which is just awful and downright hurtful, I love cats and animals, and that was not the reason behind "XxCatgore". I wanted a username that sorta reminded me of old edgy Xbox usernames, plus i watched a lot of Nekojiru's work which was another inspiriation to the name. I dunno, i just hate that people assume this shit about me just because the word "gore" is there, and it's made me reconsider changing it multiple times because my obbsession compulsive ways, which also seems like so much work just to please strangers.
2/24/2026I had the realization that it is impossible for me to see in fursuits without my glasses or something. I have an astigmitism in both of my eyes and when i wear my suit it just cranks that vision issue up to the max, like no wonder i was bumping into so many people at a con last year, sucks tho cuz i love that suit but i can only wear him for photos. 
I feel like each day i'm becoming more passionate over the topic of ditching big social media platforms in favor of the indieweb(or whatever else its called). Coming from my own personal experience, Being off these stressful platforms that encourage outrageous mind numbing nonsense and an addiction to watching numbers on your posts that just float away in a sea of other posts the all and mightly algorithim ignores. People are not content pumping machines, and only a real small handfull seem to benefit, if at all. These platforms also dedicate themselves to keep you as hooked as humanly possible. They're basically programmed the same way slot machines are, ever wonder why you keep scrolling even after finding nothing interesting? Because in the back of your mind you think you'll find that one perfect dopamine inducing post that'll make those 2 hours on the toilet worth it. It's all a scam meant to steal your time and profit off of it by showing more ads than real posts at this point. So much of social media doesn't matter in the real world, all that needless discourse doesnt friggin matter man, what matters is just being a nice person. I'm just getting real passionate about making the internet an actual place again for people, not corparations looking to suck your time and mental health dry by keeping you chemically addicted to their feeds. Like fuck it! Make a website!! Use a template if you want to WHO CARES!! As long as your expressing your authentic self on this wide digital world, and go out and see how many people out there are also doing the same thing!! Get inspired!! Be present!!
2/21/2026
Ok so back in november or so, i swapped my iphone for a flip phone (the TLC flip4 5g to be erm percise) to be my main phone, i still got the iphone just turned off in a bag somewhere idk. And i love it, so so much. But it feels surreal in ways, like being the only person in the room without a screen to stare at in their palms. Sometimes people just pull their phones out mid conversation and **I** feel like the weirdo for not having a time-wasting machine in my pocket. I dunno man it just drives me a little nuts sometimes..
